I went on a date.

Husband and I went to the Opera. It was truly a spectacle! I wasn’t ultra keen on going but it was an invite only event and I’ve been dying to get out of the house as my life of travel and outings have been null due to a difficult placement. The Opera was beautiful, funny, exciting, and impressive. If you’ve never gone I highly recommend giving it a shot, hey, it may not be your thing but imagine if it is!

After the Opera we met up with friends and enjoyed a few hours of adult company. I miss adult company and traveling. During the last 6 months we have not traveled leisurely anywhere (only for cheer competitions.) That is unheard of for our family! We missed our trip to Knott’s Berry Farm and Huntington Beach last October and two other getaways since then. I’ve not been able to visit either of my older daughters in Colorado nor at the University of Arizona. I’ve not been able to visit my girl friend in Phoenix who has a new house that I’m dying to see. It’s getting to me. I’ve lost my identity, I’ve sacrificed it to the greater good and I’ve never been unhappier. I’ve been internally struggling with this for weeks; I’ve been a Debbie Downer in a majority of my posts regarding my difficult placement. It’s a sad fact, after going out and doing some things it was blatantly clear that I’m miserable.

It’s obvious that something needs to change, it’s been 6 months and I’m not getting anywhere. My resources are garbage and I’m unable to do this on my own. I feel like no one is taking me seriously. We recently had a CFT regarding my difficult placement and I made it VERY clear that I’m hanging on by a thread. Disrupting is a very real concern at this point. The team was shocked. I mean, I’ve been telling them for 6 months that this isn’t the correct placement for this child as he cannot function within a group. My family is a group. I’ve voiced my concerns countlessly. In any case; they’re sending in a team of people into our home to help with him. Wonderful. <—– that’s dripping with sarcasm.

Hopefully we’ll have a solution soon, reunification or moving… I’m spent. Some of my readers are thinking to themselves that I signed up for this and you’re absolutely correct. However, my family and my mental health comes first. I simply cannot neglect my family because of a foster placement. I will not. I’ve given it my best shot and sometimes you’ve got to know when it’s time to say ‘enough.’

It’s funny how a date put all of this in motion, isn’t it?