Stuff and things.

I’m trying something new with Loud, he’s with me every waking moment he is with me at home. Well, except in the mornings and that’s when he decides to do naughty things like dump hair gel all over his bed then blame someone else. I have made it impossible to blame anyone in our home for his naughty behaviors; Boychild is woken up in the morning and once he us changed he’s no longer allowed in the bedroom, Boychild has a man cave in the garage where is spends his time. The girls aren’t allowed in the boys room and vice versa. It’s been 6 days of having a Loud shadow… it is not improving anything in any area. I’m going to keep going strong, I’ve got to do something. With having Loud as my shadow he is in constant conflict, he is in large groups (our family.) He fusses, whines, deliberately disobeys rules, screams at other children and is obviously overwhelmed. That puts me and him in my room a lot, where I can only have 2 other people at a time before he has some variety of issues. His caseworker is the used car sales man of workers, he talks a big game and flops. He was here yesterday and while he was here Loud was on the couch watching TV quietly and contently. The caseworker sat down beside him to talk to me and the other kids started to trickle in, before you know it 8 people are in the living room talking, asking questions, etc. During this time, as humans were trickling in, Loud has now built a fort of pillows around himself. Car salesman caseworker doesn’t seem to notice nor mind but I know it’s because he’s feeling overwhelmed by all the people… Loud is on his best behavior because the caseworker is there and he’s doing such a great job. This poor kid.

Speaking of car salesman caseworker, he promised me that Loud was going to visit a bio relative this weekend as we have a large cheer competition to go to in Palm Springs. Yesterday I sent a text to confirm the pick up/drop off time and he let me know that there has been no contact with the bio relative and I should find someone to watch him. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. I leave on Friday and it’s not easy to get agency respite for a kid with 2 days notice. I can’t send him to any of my babysitters as they’ve all kindly asked me to not bring him back. I cannot take Loud to Palm Springs to a cheer competition, he simply cannot handle that. 10,000 people and 10+ hours a day at a venue playing music as loud as a typical concert… I’m pretty sure he’s spontaneously combust. Here’s the thing; I don’t miss competitions. I didn’t attend one competition EVER and my girls asked that that never happens again, they needed me. I’m freaking out. I’m currently in correspondence with car salesman caseworker and he’s attempting to make things work. I’m leaving in 2 days.

Lemon is officially 6 years old.

Her birthday came and went so quickly! Now, Boychild’s birthday is coming in 9 more days. Then Biscuit and Husband’s birthday on the 24th of February.

Winter Formal happened, the girls looked beautiful.

The kids started playing golf on Thursdays in the Junior Golf Club. They love it!

I’m dropping weight like a boss, Husband and I have a little wager in place for the most weight lost. BUT, why does he look much thinner than me although he’s loss less weight? That’s crap.


I’m suffering this weird partial empty nest syndrome. Flower has left for college, Hair has gone to live with family members, and Biscuit and Blue have gone to Colorado. I have 3 kids at home, it’s really eerie around here. After 8pm it’s a ghost town… no teenaged girl nonsense makes a boring evening. In addition; watching TV has gotten significantly easier as there are less interruptions when the younger kids go to bed. Husband and I watched an entire movie last night with not one interruption. I can’t remember how long it’s been since that’s happened. It was a pretty good movie too, the plot twist was insane! If you’ve got some free time watch Extinction on Netflix.

Husband and I went grocery shopping today. Less people equals less food, it was hard for me not to buy massive amounts of food. Our grocery bill was significantly less than usual and I left the store feeling like I was forgetting something. AND unloading the car was a breeze, I had less than 25 bags. I did buy 100 granola bars because they were on sale and old habits die hard. The kids typically go through about 100 granola bars in 2 weeks. I wonder how much it’ll change?

Today I went back to work, that was fine.

I’ve dropped 7lbs, that’s pretty cool.

I stole a lipstick out of my daughters bathroom today. It feels good to be bad. 🤣

In closing I’ll leave you with these few pictures, one of Lemon hogging the bed lookin’ 10 kinds of cute and the others of Blue and Biscuit in Colorado. They’ve been there 2 days and they’ve already found boys to hang out with. Damn kids.

I love my life. I love my family, undoubtedly. Things are changing constantly and I’m excited to see what the future holds for our family. Until then… hasta a la pasta!

Date night!

Javalina Cantina has taco deals on Wednesdays! I’m pretty stoked about that. The kids attend church tonight, AWANA, they all enjoy it. Biscuit doesn’t go anymore, she prefers an older youth group and they meet on her cheer days so she misses out. Shy would prefer not to go but he isn’t responsible enough to be left home alone…I’ve tried for short amounts of time and he’s just not ready. In fact, Shy is behind socially and emotionally. If I had to guess, I’d say he has the mentality of a newly turned 7 year old, he is near his 11th birthday. Honestly, I have no idea how to repair that…I guess I will have to talk to his therapist.

Anyway, yay! Date night! I get to have uninterrupted conversations and make googly eyes at my husband. He’s so dreamy. I might even touch his butt!

In other news, today is Lemon’s third birthday! Happy birthday little one. And Bunny stayed home sick, booo. Oddly enough it’s not flu related, that’s been working it’s way through our house, she woke me up around 4am and said she vomited. While Lemon is feeling better we didn’t get to do anything special for her birthday as we were confined to the house with an sick kid.


Kid update! Parent update!

Biscuit raised $500 fundraising for cheer, she bought her own uniform and jacket. I am proud of her! It helped with the financial burden of purchasing two uniforms, two jackets, and paying two competition fees last week. She also got her front tuck! That’s amazing, again I’m beaming with positive mom feelings! It won’t be long before she has her back tuck and we will celebrate. Being in Junior High is suiting her well…she is boy crazy.

Shy is no longer shy! He is funny, outgoing, and clever! He has started showing an interest in girls and participates in EVERYTHING. Shy is patient and kind, he is helpful, and he has come so far. I am proud of him! He started the Young Marines and he wants to become a leader. I can always count on him.

Boychild started the Young Marines, he’s really keen on it. He is excited about the encampments and the gun raffle! Boychild is doing exceptionally well in school and this makes me mega proud. He still has some impulse control issues as well as accountibility problems but that is something we are constantly working on, I hope the Young Marines will help pound positive things into his head.

Bells is doing well too! This girl is making leaps and bounds in the reading department, she was pretty far behind her grade level in most of her school work but she has been joyful during all the extra tutoring and AR reports. Bells started a recreational cheer team and she is a constant positive in our household. She calls me mom sometimes and I don’t mind, she is a good girl and I love her just as I love my own children.

Bunny is not liking Kindergarten so much, she misses me and cries often. She misses nap time too. However, she is doing great and is actually READING! Bunny is doing exceptional in cheer and is currently learning her back handspring. She has a great sense of humor and is a complete showstopper.

Lemon started Preschool, she adores it. I like it too…hello free time! Lemon thinks she is a cheerleader but she still has a little while before she can become a Sonic. Until then she is the biggest supporter of the entire Sonics family.

My babies make me proud, they’re all doing so well. Yes, they get into trouble and make mistakes but they’re learning. They’re kids. Kids learn by example and by guidance…I do my best. I am not perfect and I make mistakes too. I take it one day at a time and sometimes I wing it. Husband and I are doing well, we have our date nights on Wednesdays when the kids go to their youth group. We also have lunch dates during the week. I love that we make time, even with 6 kids in our home, to keep our relationship healthy.

Drama llama!

It’s officially outburst city from our girls, Bunny is doing this fake cry thing to get her way, Lemon is fighting everyone for the sake of fighting, and Biscuit is hot one minute and cold the next. Luckily, Bells is awesome and the boys are pretty solid. On the upside the girls are happy to be back at the gym, although Biscuit had been a complete brat to me yesterday at the gym, she wanted to stay and practice with the 4.2 team and wanted me to ask the coach. Uh, no. I told her if she wanted to stay she needed to ask and let me know what time to pick her up. She pretty much had a tantrum and was a jerk to both me and her coach. Teens are awesome.

Boychild missed swim yesterday, he was caught up in doing Boychild things. He can be very absent minded sometimes. He has been such a great helper today while I’ve been cleaning out the playroom. Good news, we have decided that we are taking the kids camping since Boychild decided not to go to camp. Secretly, I’m a little bit happy that he didn’t go…I missed him past week and having him gone all week would have been a bit sad. Obviously, I would have sucked up if he decided to go.

It’s that time again, cheer uniforms are being ordered. They’re new this season and they’re really fancy…so is the price tag. Let’s not forget the new warm ups, because the girls just cannot live without them. The good news is that this will be the last of the wearable stuff that needs to be paid for. Well, with the exception of the hair bows. I’m pretty excited about that milestone. The next milestone is paying all the competition fees. Cheer life, I’m livin’ it.

Boychilds dirt bike needs work, after his latest wipe out I think he goofed some stuff up. That’s up Husbands alley…I don’t know anything about that. I just know it needs some work done and it needs to be done before our camping trip in a few weeks.

It’s been brought to my attention that I bash bio dad and that I am a scorned ex wife. I’m addition; I was accused of bashing my foster kids bio parents. Yup. You got me. You win. I’m the terrible person you think I am. You know everything about me. Have a nice day. P.S. Don’t read my blog if you don’t like what I’m saying.


Imagine going to bed your typical self, in your normal sleeping attire, with your pillow, and your comforter. Sounds great doesn’t it? Now, imagine waking up and seemingly everything is the same. The same clothes, the same pillow, the same attire. Awesome! Alright, imagine leaping out of bed to start your day and realizing you only have one leg. You fall flat on your face, confused, lost, trying to figure out what to do…because holy crap your leg had disappeared overnight. Panic. Eventually you get up, and you try to function all day with your limb missing, and you figure out ways to make it work.

That’s how I feel. My kids went to visit their bio dad and I feel like a part of me is missing… three actually. I make too much dinner, I pull out too many snacks, I look and listen for them constantly, I’m pulling out stuff for their activities/sports, and I miss them. My heart aches because I cannot hold them or tickle them. My kids are my everything and it’s difficult (even if it is explained dramatically) to function without them. I have SO much free time that it is alarming and I constantly feel like I’m forgetting something. My life feels less full without them. Funny story, I generally take the same route most days, I ended up in the gym parking lot feeling frustrated that Biscuit hadn’t come outside and I figured she was chatting with her friends. I waited 10 minutes before I realized that I wasn’t waiting on anyone. Haha!

Lemon is enjoying the extra time she has with me. It’s been her and I a lot as Bells and Shy go to summer camp. Even with three kids home it’s still eerily quiet. No one is fighting, no one is being a tattle tale, no one is fussing about ‘he said, she said’ stuff. One perk? I’ve been able to read my book, it’s the love language book for kids, uninterrupted. Also, I’ve had time to fix up some American Girl dolls for the girls. See, I can be positive. 🙂

Speaking of Bells and Shy, I’ve recently been communicating with their family members and I’ve even met some family members of theirs. They are both excited about school starting and they’ve both decided on activities to do once school has started. I’m really proud of them both and they’ve really opened up. It’s looking like they’ll be here for a while, I should start getting my Christmas stockpiling started.

I miss Boychild, Bunny, and Biscuit. It’s just a few more days! I can’t wait to snuggle my babies! I know, I know, stop whining. Soon, I’ll be whole again.

That was anticlimactic…

The 24th came and went, how naive was I to expect answers? Talk about a joke; we stand exactly where we did when the children were placed with us. I’m saddened that these kids cannot be reunified, somewhere deep in my heart I expected them to go home by now. Not because I don’t like them, they’re absolutely wonderful, but because I’m ultra positive and I want the kids to be happy. They’re happy now but I know they’d rather live with their parents or other family members, who wouldnt?!

I’ve started stockpiling for school, in 6 weeks school will be in session. It’s anticipated that the kids will still be with us, I’m both happy and sad at the same time. I will happily love them until they’re reunited, pffft who am I kidding? I’ll love them forever. Oh, my, gosh. School is starting in 6 weeks!!! Panic. School clothes, school shoes, school supplies, school!! Aaaah. Let’s see, I’ll have a 7th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd, Kindergartner, and a Pre K student. Wow.

Let’s talk cheer, you know that my girls love cheering with Universal Sonics in Lake Havasu…Cheer is life to these kids. Well, Biscuit recently tried out for a 4.2 team and holy hello that’s all I hear about. Biscuit. Wants. It. Bad. So badly she pesters her coaches, asks to attend practices, and talks my ear off. I love that she is interested and I love that she has her own voice and fights for what she wants, it’s a proud mama moment, but sadly I don’t think she will make that team. It’s a higher flying position, Biscuit isn’t skilled in level 4 flying…I hate to see her let down but she feels pretty confident. I’ll let her be happy and optimistic, I’ll tell her she’s foing great (she is!), and pump her up. I want her to fight for the things that she wants and I want her to be successful in everything! Keep at it, girl! Bunny is excited to be on her team, she wants to work on her tumbling, she is happy go lucky as usual. Both of them are so great, I’m so proud of them and love to watch them. Lemon wants to be a cheerleader, She’s still too young. I bought her practice wear like her sisters and she is going to be over the moon once she sees her Sonics top!

Bells and Shy are loving summer camp! They love the activities and crafty stuff. I enjoy hearing about their days and seeing all their stuff. Speaking of camps…Biscuit just returned from Woodward West for cheer camp! She was gone for a week and had a stellar time. Boy Child should be going to MX camp the next month, a whole week away from us. He will love it, a week in Prescott with his dirt bike and the Lord. Yes, you heard right! It’s a Christian MX camp…I couldn’t be happier!

My boys, Shy and Boychild are currently grounded for disobeying me. Shy is doing a wonderful job at doing extra chores to shorten his groundation. I’m really proud of him for taking his punishment like a champ and taking the initiative to do something about it. He really isn’t liking the whole ordeal. Boychild, ugh, I love him something fierce but that kid is a pain in my butt. You see, he wants to do what Shy is doing by doing extra chores and shortening the 3 day no electronics ban for them. Bless his heart but he is clueless. He wants to do good but he is lazy and wants to do easy stuff if do things half assed. He cleaned his room by stuffing everything behind dressers, in the  losets, etc. So, in the time it took him to clean his room, properly, Shy had successfully completed 4 small tasks that I had assigned. I love that he looks up to Shy and hopefully he can learn a thing or ten from him.

All in all, I’ve been feeling really proud of all of my kids, all 6 of them. I feel really loved and supported by Husband and very appreciated. I have been working quite a bit, I’ve been volunteering 4 times a week, I’ve made sure to plan fin family activities, I’ve been parenting (my fav!), and I’ve even put aside some me time! Things are going swimmingly…I know what I’m missing. I need to get my booty to church on Sundays! Summer has been hectic, I know that’s not an excuse. With 6 kids, work, fundraising, camps, summer activities, and down time I’ve just been busy. Yikes. When I type that I feel terrible. I should rectify this.







I don’t like waiting!

We have turned in EVERYTHING. Husband and I even went to Arizona’s Children’s Association, our licensure place, to drop off some stuff in hopes of seeing our caseworker yesterday, but no. Nada. We haven’t heard from her at all.


I know she is busy.

I know it takes something like 40 hours to write a Home Study.

I know she has a whole other caseload that doesn’t revolve around me.

I just wish she would communicate SOMETHING. “Hey, I am doing _______ and when I am done with this I will be doing ______. I’ll be in touch if I need something.” That would suffice.


In other news, school has started. That means afterschool clubs and birthday parties in addition to the extracurricular activities/ carpooling and school. Bunny and Biscuit participate in competitive cheer, that means 4 days a week I am at the gym. Boy Child has karate twice a week but that kid cannot get his three simple tasks (clean his room, take out the trash, and complete homework) done in time to go most of the time. For real, that kid is super slow, mega lazy, and it drives me nuts. C’mon! Who cannot complete those three tasks in 2 hours?! He chooses to do his homework half assed; instead of correct. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Second grade homework isn’t hard, he is distracted and bored, and hungry, and tired, and thirsty, and needs to use the bathroom, and needs to help his sister pick up Cheerios off the floor, etc. I love that kid buy he really gets under my skin sometimes.

Lemon is addicted to Mickey Mouse. This little girl is always talking about Mickey or Minnie. And potty training sucks. She has peed on my floor more times than I can count.

I am tired. I wish I could, just for one day, hide out in a dark hotel room and catch up on sleep. I wish I could blame the kids but they all sleep wonderfully, I have such a hard time trying to fall asleep and stay asleep. Last night I went to bed at midnight, later it was storming and it had woken me up around 3am and I had such a hard time going back to sleep. I feel like I feel asleep as the sun as coming up and woken up by an alarm 3 minutes later. I need some ZZZZZZ’s. No sleep + PMS = ugh.