Tata has left our home, she was moved in with her siblings out of our county. I was happy to see her go as she truly missed her siblings. I received a phone call yesterday informing me that her caseworker had changed AGAIN and that Tata would be picked up at 8am the following morning. Short notice… my favorite. 😯 I sent a bag of dirty laundry with her, I wanted to make sure she had all of her things. She came here with nothing and left with a large box and 2 duffle bags full of items. I’ll sure miss her, she was loud, obnoxious and constantly laughing. I hope one day she is reunited with her family!
On our car ride to court today, 60 miles away, I discussed with my foster kids what we were doing in court today. I reminded them to speak their minds, tell their attorney what they wanted to do, and where they wanted live if they weren’t allowed to live with bio parents.
Bells had ideas of family members who she hadn’t seen in several years, and if they couldn’t be located or take care of her she expressed that she would like to stay with Husband and I. Shy had told me in the car that he maybe wanted to stay with bio dad, but once we started to talk to the attorney he changed his tune. He told his attorney that he’d like to stay with us! I didn’t see that one coming.
Unfortunately, there were several instances where the biofamily interrupted the judge, spoke out of turn, and made a fuss about things that weren’t relevant to the current hearing. It was crazy, I’ve never experienced anything like that. I was sweating uncontrollably, I was anxious, and things were out of order. I felt out of control as legal terms were thrown around, the judge raised his voice, I felt like a child in the principles office. I can’t imagine what was going through my foster kids minds…I could barely wrap my mind around it and I’m a grown adult.
In the end the judge didn’t make a ruling, he said he needed to review the entire case before making a decision. The attorney broke all the legal terms down and explained to the kids what happened on the courtroom. I spoke with the attorney alone, without the kids, and the attorney was candid and filled in a lot of what really was going on. Oh, boy.
Here we are, in limbo. We are awaiting a phone call from the attorney letting us know what the judged ruled. I’m guessing sometime next week we will get the call. Until then…we wait.
Today marks a day of change, I’m unsure of what the future holds. Bells and Shy have court this morning, it’s a permanency hearing. What does that mean? Well, it means that the courts are trying to figure out what is best in the long haul for these kids. Is reunification still an option? Will parental rights be severed? Will they find family members willing to adopt them? Will we adopt them? It’s a big day.
Obviously they will take into account what the kids want, and it’s probably not staying here. Why? They haven’t fully comprehended that all foster homes aren’t like ours, in fact they think every foster home is like ours. They think they’ll have their own rooms, a pool, a trampoline, pets…in short they told me all foster families are rich. (We sure aren’t rich but based on the living conditions that the kids were in before, I get it. We’re only rich in love!) Bells and Shy have issues with trusting people and they’re ready for the next step in their adventure. They will undoubtedly bounce from home to home until they age out of foster care or move into a group home.
I wish I could persuade them into staying…that is unethical. I’ve told them that we are going to court today to figure out a long term plan for them and where they will live. They’ve come to ask me a series of questions:
‘Can I have my birthday party before we leave?’
‘Will we still get to keep our stuff?’
‘If I keep picking at this blackhead on my nose do I still have to go to court?’
‘Do we have to stay together or can we be seperated?’
I’ve tried answering them to the best of my ability, but I don’t have the answers to some of the questions.
Husband and I had talked about the possibility of adopting the both of them, if they decided they wanted to stay, Husband just said ‘Looks like I’ll have to buy Shy his own dirtbike.’ The truth is; this is new for all of us. We have no idea what we are doing. We are like that little bunny hopping through the forest, except we are hopping through foster care system.
Wish us luck this morning, pray for us, anything would be great. I have no idea what’s going to happen, all I know is Bells and Shy have been with us for 10 months and during those months they’ve become our family. Whether the stay or go…nothing will change that.