Updates!

We have a new friend, we will call her Bow. Bow is a 12 year old female, she’s funny, smart, and extremely helpful. Bow loves words of affirmation and quality time. One of Bows best qualities is her communication; she is precise and very open. I definitely appreciate that, it makes parenting her very easy and she has proven to be very trustworthy as well. Welcome to the family, Bow! Bow’s case is very complex…I’ve never had a case like hers before, it’s both intriguing and saddening. I believe Bow to be a long term placement as things aren’t progressing with her case as they typically do. I’m excited to see who this girl is and what she’s capable of. Her goals are to establish friendships and to keep moving forward. (How amazing is that? This kid is resilient.)

Blink is doing well, I’m unsure if she is on the spectrum or not as I previously disclosed. I feel she may be a product of her environment because we have seen some amazing changes within her. Blink has shown tremendous growth and development over the last few months, she is understanding social cues and how to behave appropriately. Blinks case is teetering towards severance and she is navigating the system to the best of her ability. Blink is not an adoptive option for our family, Blink understands that and agrees. She has several siblings which makes it a bit difficult in trying to figure out her end game. Her goals as of right now are to finish the school year hear and play on the schools softball team this fall. It’s hard for me personally, when it comes to Blink. She’s a good kid with a heart of gold and seeing her flounder in the system is heartbreaking. Being 14 years old and having to endure this just sucks

Smile, oh our sweet Smile. This kid had a LONG honeymoon period. Typically during the honeymoon period it’s about 4 weeks at the maximum, Smile pushed it out for several months. Smile is currently falling apart, she’s had to move schools due to unsavory relationships and she’s had to modify her work schedule due to more peer conflict. She is a very complex teen and I cannot figure her out. I’ve seen self sabotaging behaviors before but this takes the cake. Smile does well with us, her parental units, aside from the chronic lying. She does well with younger people too, it’s her peers that get her in a tizzy. Smile can forget everything that she knows is safe and throw it out the window when she’s with people her age. She has lied so much within the community that she’s got herself an awful reputation, from drugs to extreme sexual behaviors. Sadly, very little of what’s been said about her is true. I’m not naive, I know she’s not a saint and I know she’s done some dispicable things. I also know that some of the things being said about her are so far fetched that it couldn’t be true. Husband and I are worried about her tremendously because she’s very immature and willing to do anything for attention, good or bad. Husband has a terrified that she’ll fall victim to sex trafficking and I’m worried that she could be engaged in consensual and dangerously careless sex. Smiles goals are to be able to communicate better, amen to that. Smile is 14 years old.

Boychild, holy moly. I’ve been cautiously quiet about him because he’s started off good then quickly plummeted in the past. This summer we had him read a ton of positive self help books to prepare him for the transition to middle school. I’m excited to announce that it’s been 3 weeks since school has started and I’ve not gotten one phone call, email, nor text about his behavior or lack of working in class! He has also decided that he’d like to participate in track this year. Boychild has been attending Civil Air Patrol meetings and really enjoys it. A lot of Boychild success is due to Blue, she has been spending a lot of time with him and encouraging him. Biscuit has also dragged him along on outings with her friends to help socialize him, it’s done him well. Yay for older sisters!

Bunny has shocked me with her skills at the gym, she has really stepped up her game and has been less emotional. Bunny is the crier, she cries for control and can minuplate situations with her emotions. Her coaches have witnessed it for years and shooed her off on a regular basis. This year she was told if she wanted to compete on the level 3 team she’d have to cut the crying out. Apparently she really wanted to work in her skills and be on that team because she has had just a couple of outbursts. That is amazing, she’s actually grown emotionally because of cheer. Bunny is doing well in school and is interested in playing volleyball.

Lemon is Lemon. She’s an avid reader and she cheers. She’s doing better on telling the truth despite the naughty things she’s done. Lemon put a sticky note on her brothers door that was inappropriate, when I asked her about it she told me it was her and why she did it. That’s a step in the right direction!

Blue is doing well, she’s found a new group of friends at school and continues to keep her GPA high. She’s currently #21 in the school with her weighted GPA. Blue is also participating in Civil Air Patrol and she’s involved in many clubs.

Biscuit can drive. Wild. She’s a junior in high school and she’s just made the date to get her permit. Biscuit is doing well in school and is very social, although I do wish she’d be more independent and not need an entourage to do things she’s hesitant about. She is coaching a cheer team and she really enjoys it, she has a sibling on that team and I’ve been told that coach Biscuit is different than sister Biscuit. Also, she signed up to participate in the Powder Puff football ordeal.

My older girls seem to be doing well, one is starting her second year at U of A and the other is living/working in Colorado. I’m proud of both of them, they’re turning into amazing women.

I’m stellar! I’ve did the weight loss thing via intermittent fasting, made my goal weight, and I’ve been going to the gym the last several weeks. I loathe the gym, exercise is NOT for me. I continue to go because I’m old now and health = longevity. I have all these damn kids and I bet I’ll have a herd of grandkids someday, I’d better be around to enjoy them.

Husband is doing well, he hasn’t got much time to do fun things lately. I appreciate him and all of his hard work, he’s pretty rad. We did take the time to go see a concert together, see pic below.

I’m starting to prepare for Christmas! I love Christmas, especially with my foster placements. I enjoy treating them to things and giving them our family experience. Obviously, I love it for my bio and adopted kids too. I’m a giver.

Adios, Tata!

Tata has left our home, she was moved in with her siblings out of our county. I was happy to see her go as she truly missed her siblings. I received a phone call yesterday informing me that her caseworker had changed AGAIN and that Tata would be picked up at 8am the following morning. Short notice… my favorite. 😯 I sent a bag of dirty laundry with her, I wanted to make sure she had all of her things. She came here with nothing and left with a large box and 2 duffle bags full of items. I’ll sure miss her, she was loud, obnoxious and constantly laughing. I hope one day she is reunited with her family!

Three.

I’m suffering this weird partial empty nest syndrome. Flower has left for college, Hair has gone to live with family members, and Biscuit and Blue have gone to Colorado. I have 3 kids at home, it’s really eerie around here. After 8pm it’s a ghost town… no teenaged girl nonsense makes a boring evening. In addition; watching TV has gotten significantly easier as there are less interruptions when the younger kids go to bed. Husband and I watched an entire movie last night with not one interruption. I can’t remember how long it’s been since that’s happened. It was a pretty good movie too, the plot twist was insane! If you’ve got some free time watch Extinction on Netflix.

Husband and I went grocery shopping today. Less people equals less food, it was hard for me not to buy massive amounts of food. Our grocery bill was significantly less than usual and I left the store feeling like I was forgetting something. AND unloading the car was a breeze, I had less than 25 bags. I did buy 100 granola bars because they were on sale and old habits die hard. The kids typically go through about 100 granola bars in 2 weeks. I wonder how much it’ll change?

Today I went back to work, that was fine.

I’ve dropped 7lbs, that’s pretty cool.

I stole a lipstick out of my daughters bathroom today. It feels good to be bad. 🤣

In closing I’ll leave you with these few pictures, one of Lemon hogging the bed lookin’ 10 kinds of cute and the others of Blue and Biscuit in Colorado. They’ve been there 2 days and they’ve already found boys to hang out with. Damn kids.

I love my life. I love my family, undoubtedly. Things are changing constantly and I’m excited to see what the future holds for our family. Until then… hasta a la pasta!

Lost

Imagine going to bed your typical self, in your normal sleeping attire, with your pillow, and your comforter. Sounds great doesn’t it? Now, imagine waking up and seemingly everything is the same. The same clothes, the same pillow, the same attire. Awesome! Alright, imagine leaping out of bed to start your day and realizing you only have one leg. You fall flat on your face, confused, lost, trying to figure out what to do…because holy crap your leg had disappeared overnight. Panic. Eventually you get up, and you try to function all day with your limb missing, and you figure out ways to make it work.

That’s how I feel. My kids went to visit their bio dad and I feel like a part of me is missing… three actually. I make too much dinner, I pull out too many snacks, I look and listen for them constantly, I’m pulling out stuff for their activities/sports, and I miss them. My heart aches because I cannot hold them or tickle them. My kids are my everything and it’s difficult (even if it is explained dramatically) to function without them. I have SO much free time that it is alarming and I constantly feel like I’m forgetting something. My life feels less full without them. Funny story, I generally take the same route most days, I ended up in the gym parking lot feeling frustrated that Biscuit hadn’t come outside and I figured she was chatting with her friends. I waited 10 minutes before I realized that I wasn’t waiting on anyone. Haha!

Lemon is enjoying the extra time she has with me. It’s been her and I a lot as Bells and Shy go to summer camp. Even with three kids home it’s still eerily quiet. No one is fighting, no one is being a tattle tale, no one is fussing about ‘he said, she said’ stuff. One perk? I’ve been able to read my book, it’s the love language book for kids, uninterrupted. Also, I’ve had time to fix up some American Girl dolls for the girls. See, I can be positive. 🙂

Speaking of Bells and Shy, I’ve recently been communicating with their family members and I’ve even met some family members of theirs. They are both excited about school starting and they’ve both decided on activities to do once school has started. I’m really proud of them both and they’ve really opened up. It’s looking like they’ll be here for a while, I should start getting my Christmas stockpiling started.

I miss Boychild, Bunny, and Biscuit. It’s just a few more days! I can’t wait to snuggle my babies! I know, I know, stop whining. Soon, I’ll be whole again.

Maybe this is it, maybe not.

I’ve been coping with the uncertainty and newness of this foster care journey pretty well, I think. I’m a little bit scared that I’ll no longer be frantically trying to get things in order after I receive a placement call…because things keep falling through or getting solved. No one wants to be caught with their pants down, order is crucial to most of us. Luckily, I’ve got a type B personality and I don’t often freak out about things. I’m scared that one day I’ll agree to placement (like today, I’ll tell you more in a sec) and I’ll go about my daily business and not go pick up clothes or find extra backpacks and KABLAMO kids will appear at my door.

I just received a call from our placement agency, a female 6 and a male 10. I said yes, because I’m all about the yes word and going with the flow of this crazy foster care system. The children currently go to school in the town over, it’s about an hour and a half away. One of my blogger friends was recently faced with a situation similar to this and ended up taking the children to school pretty far from her home. I made sure to ask if they could be transferred to a local school and was told yes. Bloggers and blogs are your friend, read them and communicate with other foster patents because we really can learn from one another. I’m forever grateful for the friends and insight I’ve acquired from communicating with those who are doing the same things, facing the same struggles, and share a lot of the same feelings I’ve had.

I was told that there is a pretty good chance that these kids would be placed with is because we are in the same county. However, you should be getting a good of a feel of how things are around here in the foster care world, and just like me you know that nothing is certain. Here’s to another round of the waiting game! Cheers.