Adios, Tata!

Tata has left our home, she was moved in with her siblings out of our county. I was happy to see her go as she truly missed her siblings. I received a phone call yesterday informing me that her caseworker had changed AGAIN and that Tata would be picked up at 8am the following morning. Short notice… my favorite. 😯 I sent a bag of dirty laundry with her, I wanted to make sure she had all of her things. She came here with nothing and left with a large box and 2 duffle bags full of items. I’ll sure miss her, she was loud, obnoxious and constantly laughing. I hope one day she is reunited with her family!

Three.

I’m suffering this weird partial empty nest syndrome. Flower has left for college, Hair has gone to live with family members, and Biscuit and Blue have gone to Colorado. I have 3 kids at home, it’s really eerie around here. After 8pm it’s a ghost town… no teenaged girl nonsense makes a boring evening. In addition; watching TV has gotten significantly easier as there are less interruptions when the younger kids go to bed. Husband and I watched an entire movie last night with not one interruption. I can’t remember how long it’s been since that’s happened. It was a pretty good movie too, the plot twist was insane! If you’ve got some free time watch Extinction on Netflix.

Husband and I went grocery shopping today. Less people equals less food, it was hard for me not to buy massive amounts of food. Our grocery bill was significantly less than usual and I left the store feeling like I was forgetting something. AND unloading the car was a breeze, I had less than 25 bags. I did buy 100 granola bars because they were on sale and old habits die hard. The kids typically go through about 100 granola bars in 2 weeks. I wonder how much it’ll change?

Today I went back to work, that was fine.

I’ve dropped 7lbs, that’s pretty cool.

I stole a lipstick out of my daughters bathroom today. It feels good to be bad. 🤣

In closing I’ll leave you with these few pictures, one of Lemon hogging the bed lookin’ 10 kinds of cute and the others of Blue and Biscuit in Colorado. They’ve been there 2 days and they’ve already found boys to hang out with. Damn kids.

I love my life. I love my family, undoubtedly. Things are changing constantly and I’m excited to see what the future holds for our family. Until then… hasta a la pasta!

Lost

Imagine going to bed your typical self, in your normal sleeping attire, with your pillow, and your comforter. Sounds great doesn’t it? Now, imagine waking up and seemingly everything is the same. The same clothes, the same pillow, the same attire. Awesome! Alright, imagine leaping out of bed to start your day and realizing you only have one leg. You fall flat on your face, confused, lost, trying to figure out what to do…because holy crap your leg had disappeared overnight. Panic. Eventually you get up, and you try to function all day with your limb missing, and you figure out ways to make it work.

That’s how I feel. My kids went to visit their bio dad and I feel like a part of me is missing… three actually. I make too much dinner, I pull out too many snacks, I look and listen for them constantly, I’m pulling out stuff for their activities/sports, and I miss them. My heart aches because I cannot hold them or tickle them. My kids are my everything and it’s difficult (even if it is explained dramatically) to function without them. I have SO much free time that it is alarming and I constantly feel like I’m forgetting something. My life feels less full without them. Funny story, I generally take the same route most days, I ended up in the gym parking lot feeling frustrated that Biscuit hadn’t come outside and I figured she was chatting with her friends. I waited 10 minutes before I realized that I wasn’t waiting on anyone. Haha!

Lemon is enjoying the extra time she has with me. It’s been her and I a lot as Bells and Shy go to summer camp. Even with three kids home it’s still eerily quiet. No one is fighting, no one is being a tattle tale, no one is fussing about ‘he said, she said’ stuff. One perk? I’ve been able to read my book, it’s the love language book for kids, uninterrupted. Also, I’ve had time to fix up some American Girl dolls for the girls. See, I can be positive. 🙂

Speaking of Bells and Shy, I’ve recently been communicating with their family members and I’ve even met some family members of theirs. They are both excited about school starting and they’ve both decided on activities to do once school has started. I’m really proud of them both and they’ve really opened up. It’s looking like they’ll be here for a while, I should start getting my Christmas stockpiling started.

I miss Boychild, Bunny, and Biscuit. It’s just a few more days! I can’t wait to snuggle my babies! I know, I know, stop whining. Soon, I’ll be whole again.

Maybe this is it, maybe not.

I’ve been coping with the uncertainty and newness of this foster care journey pretty well, I think. I’m a little bit scared that I’ll no longer be frantically trying to get things in order after I receive a placement call…because things keep falling through or getting solved. No one wants to be caught with their pants down, order is crucial to most of us. Luckily, I’ve got a type B personality and I don’t often freak out about things. I’m scared that one day I’ll agree to placement (like today, I’ll tell you more in a sec) and I’ll go about my daily business and not go pick up clothes or find extra backpacks and KABLAMO kids will appear at my door.

I just received a call from our placement agency, a female 6 and a male 10. I said yes, because I’m all about the yes word and going with the flow of this crazy foster care system. The children currently go to school in the town over, it’s about an hour and a half away. One of my blogger friends was recently faced with a situation similar to this and ended up taking the children to school pretty far from her home. I made sure to ask if they could be transferred to a local school and was told yes. Bloggers and blogs are your friend, read them and communicate with other foster patents because we really can learn from one another. I’m forever grateful for the friends and insight I’ve acquired from communicating with those who are doing the same things, facing the same struggles, and share a lot of the same feelings I’ve had.

I was told that there is a pretty good chance that these kids would be placed with is because we are in the same county. However, you should be getting a good of a feel of how things are around here in the foster care world, and just like me you know that nothing is certain. Here’s to another round of the waiting game! Cheers.