Open bed!

With Tata’s departure that leaves us with an open bed. I spoke with my licensing worker about the potential adoptive placement and it was an open and shut case, she needed to stay in the city she is currently residing in. I’m beginning to feel like this adoption stuff is for the birds! While I have had a successful adoption via foster care, it took long time to become completed. I truly thought that finding an adoptable child would be easy; older children need homes. I have jumped through hoops, sent my homestudy to various agencies (over 20 times,) and made it quite clear to my team that adoption was my motive. I enjoy foster care and I LOVE when kids are reunified with their bio families, but we’d like to offer a permanent solution to a child.

Loud and Lovely’s case is a mess, I’m unsure where it will go. We’ve got different bio dad’s, accusations, missed visits, behaviors, no contact with other siblings, a nonexsistant case worker, and more excuses than I can deal with. Lovely is a good girl, a hard worker and she is eager to please. Her bio family has instilled in her that excuses make everything better. All things, both big and small, there is an excuse for. It drives me batty. ‘My mom was a teenager when she had me, that’s why she doesn’t know how to take care of us.’ or ‘My mom asked me lie to the case worker so they could just get out of our lives, she doesn’t know any better.’ My favorite so far, and by favorite I mean it’s the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard ‘I can’t go outside with everyone, I’m allergic to grass and I’ll get hives everywhere.’ GUYS! We live in the desert, there is no grass in the vicinity of my home… not for miles. Also, she isn’t allergic to anything according to her medical records.

Loud had made some huge improvements in the last couple of weeks, now we are back tracking. He has started acting out again, I took him out into the community as his behaviors were improving tremendously… big mistake. Mohave County Mama learned a damn lesson. I think I had moved too fast, he clearly needs more time to develop the skills that we are teaching him. In addition; mental health continues to be a joke. I’m getting nowhere. I’m anxious about Halloween, how in the heck am I going to manage Loud? I’ll be brainstorming.

I’m doing surprisingly well, amazing actually. I had a blip in the mental health department a few months ago, stayed objective, made some changes, and I am officially an Overcomer! In fact, I’ve never felt better emotionally… physically not so much. I’m sorta fat. One thing at a time, right?! I’ll get less fat next, I mean… what else have I got to do? I’m not working, so yeah. Well, I’ve been toying with the idea to head back to school.

Husband has been stressed out and that brings on the snoring, WTF man? I’m trying to get my fat girl sleep here. All that snoring leaves me a bit cranky and irritable BUT, hey, there are worse things in life than a snoring husband. For example, a rabid Chihuahua backing you into a fire pit full of cobras or panties full of porcupine quills during a 5k. See, I’m an optimist. Snoring is legit. My Fitbit says I’m not hitting my sleep target, that’s all I’m saying.

In closing I’d like to say that I’m very upset that I did not with the billion dollar Mega Millions. Total crap.

Adios, Tata!

Tata has left our home, she was moved in with her siblings out of our county. I was happy to see her go as she truly missed her siblings. I received a phone call yesterday informing me that her caseworker had changed AGAIN and that Tata would be picked up at 8am the following morning. Short notice… my favorite. 😯 I sent a bag of dirty laundry with her, I wanted to make sure she had all of her things. She came here with nothing and left with a large box and 2 duffle bags full of items. I’ll sure miss her, she was loud, obnoxious and constantly laughing. I hope one day she is reunited with her family!

The flawed system chapter 463

About 10 days ago I received a call from DCS alerting me that Tata would be leaving our home. I was very excited to hear the news; she was going to be moved to a new home with her siblings! I was also annoyed that they would move a child from foster home to foster home with a flick of the wrist. As it turns out when you’re part of an Indian tribe the rules are very different, standard state regulations and rules don’t mean squat.

A DCS caseworker picked up Tata, we packed the car with her items and send our goodbyes. They drive off and I packed up my car with the remaining kids and headed to lunch, we planned on watching the Jet Ski Finals after lunch. An hour and a half had gone by and the DCS caseworker called to tell me she was bringing Tata back. I was frazzled, I knew that Tata would be upset. Tata returned very confused and a little angry, while she didn’t necessarily want to leave our home but she was reassured that everything would be great and she would be with her siblings. She cried because she ‘knew’ that she couldn’t see her siblings and ‘everything in her life falls apart.’ We all did our best to sooth Tata… meanwhile another terrible thing happened. Loud and Lovely we’re to have a visit, they were picked up and got to the destination but bio mom was a no show. You guessed it, Loud, Lovely, and Tata all arrived at the same time and they were all upset. Excellent.

Oh, but it gets better. I had called my licensing worker and let him know that I’d have a bed open shortly after Tata left the house. During all the emotional termoil I had failed to recontact him and let him know that I did not have a bed open and fill him in in the recent happenings. A couple of days had gone by and he had called me, I let him know about the situation and reassured him that DCS would be picking her up sometime that week. He presented me with a possible adoptive placement and I said that it could work. Nothing solid but a loose entertainment of the idea, it wasn’t a rush situation. So, Tata is still here. No one had ever contacted me about picking her up as previously discussed. Radio silence. The 6th is when the picked her up and dropped her back off, today is the 20th. Excellent version 2.0.

On a positive note, Loud has truly improved! I am proud of him, we’ve got the tantrums under control for the most part and he is improving at school too! His listening skills are 70% better overall, he is regulating his emotions about 50% better, and this is no thanks to mental health services. I sought out help but services are a joke and I was at a complete loss. We worked out a reward system and a punishment system… it seems to be working extraordinary well.

Lemon and Bunny received the Principles Honor Roll. Biscuit didn’t get in to NHS. Boychild is a pain in my ass and he has a girlfriend. Blue is attempting to gain employment. Flower is doing college kid stuff and Pretty is… Pretty.

I’ve been getting a lot done since I’ve not been working, it’s pretty cool. I have NO laundry in my entire house and everyone’s bedding has been washed. Holla! I’ve organized, trashed clutter, and helped Husband with things too. Next week I plan on getting the baseboards, the ceiling fans, and replacing air filters. I no longer need a housekeeper since I’m free which is both good and bad at the same time. 😋

Boychild bought a blazer, he is loving it! Why does he need a blazer… I don’t know.

A ray of sunshine

Good news, Loud’s behavior is improving. Not a landslide by any means but we have progress! Yay! I’ve taken him into the community once this week and his outburst was small and was only about 20 minutes. Yes, ONLY 20 minutes. That’s a tremendous improvement in comparison to the 2 hour tantrums. I’m proud of him. He has improved a little in school too, I think he has it figured out; we are all talking, collectively, and the entire team is holding him accountable. Today both Loud and Lovely had a family visit and it they were a no show, Loud did NOT take that well.

Lovely is doing well, she is working on her confidence and speaking up. She has been told her entire life that her voice doesn’t matter and her self esteem is wrecked. I’m all about empowering her, praising her for speaking up, and rewarding her for a job well done. Lovely eats up words of affirmation and continues to try her hardest. Our next feat is speech therapy, I bet her confidence will skyrocket after a few weeks of speech both inside and outside of school.

Tata is struggling, poor baby. Her caseworker is nonexistent and she really would enjoy a family visit. I’ve emailed about it, called about it, a d the only answer I’ve been given is that she’s probably being moved to a new home with her siblings. It seems odd to me that they’d move her at all because typically the state doesn’t like moving kids from here to there as it’s bad for the children. Sadly, I haven’t gotten much at all from her caseworker. It’s been a month, I should be seeing her caseworker soon as it it required that we have a monthly face to face meeting.

It’s fall break! We aren’t going to do much as taking Loud anywhere is hard, he does much better solo and we have made improvements and I don’t want to backtrack. I am going to request respite for him for a couple of days so I can take Lovely and Tata to ride a rollercoaster… they’ve never been on one before! It’s hard to get respite in general but even harder for a child with behaviors, I guess time will tell. I’d love to give the girls the gift of the rollercoaster experience!

Grading for the kids have come and gone, I’ve got a group of smart kids! I’ve got a pile of awards from all of the kids, I’m a proud mama!

Football has started, both Bunny and Boychild have enjoyed it. They both had their first games over the weekend and they cannot wait to get back to practicing.

Cheer, cheer, cheer.

Jet Ski Finals are now completed, yay!

I’ve gone through and bought all the kids new bedding and jackets to prepare for the winter. Eight bedding sets and eight winter coats. Cha-ching.

Biscuit is going on a trip with her friends during fall break, to Huntington Beach. Boys are going too. My mama spidey sense is tingling. 🙄

Blue has a boyfriend, she spend time with him as much as possible.

Boychild has moved up in the world as he is quickly approaching his 12th year on earth. He is no longer considered one of the ‘little’ kids and now has more privileges.

Bunny is a sassy, bratty, diva. She is at the age that makes me want to knock her little head off. I love her, undoubtedly. She is my most challenging child right now. Yes, even with Loud and the tantrums.

Lemon is a bright little girl, she is reading at a second grade level right now and is exceptional at math. She reminds me a lot of Biscuit when she was younger. Smarty pants!

Halloween is coming, I cannot wait! Costumes and fun. Most of the kids have decided what they’d like to be.

It’s time for me to make dinner and enjoy the cool weather!