My kids are pretty good kids, they know the basic rules and typically abide by them. Yes, they occasionally get excited and run in the house or slam a door on accident due to excitement or being chased by said running kid in the house.
New placements sometimes struggle with standard household rules. Simple things like when you parents ask you to do something…well, you should do it. Or don’t run in the house (about 35 times in 10 minutes.) Maybe even don’t yell in the house (every 40 seconds) or stop slamming doors (every time you enter or exit.) Listening is critical; it’s a fact. Most younger placements come from homes where structure is null and rules are nonexsistant as long as you don’t bother the adults. Teaching younger kids is EXHAUSTING. These 3 placements remind me why we primarily work with teens.
I took Lovely, Tata, and Loud to buy new clothes, undergarmets, and shoes as they arrived with nothing. THAT was interesting. And, you see, I’ve got this problem with buying my placements anything other than what I’d outfit my kids in. I don’t buy my kids Wal-Mart shoes (sometimes I buy the girls sandals there) and I don’t buy their clothes there either. My placements didn’t approve of the Nike’s we had looked at online, they didn’t like the Jessica Simpson sandals we looked at online, they didn’t like anything I suggested. In fact they asked specifically to go to Wal-Mart to shop. I suggested Ross and they declined. I bit the bullet and went to Wal-Mart and bought them every tacky Minion/Ninja Turtle shirt, every Geranimal top and legging they asked for, and even the tennis shoes that they loved. I even sprang for some hair bows and bathing suits. Guys, I spent about $500 and bough ALL the things. Socks, underpants, toothbrushes, soaps, hair brushes/combs, and other odd and ends. I don’t typically shop at Wal-Mart, in fact I’ve probably only been there 3 times this year. If I spent $500 on the things I had been looking at the kids would have gotten a few outfits each, pjs, and shoes. Okay, that’s irrelevant, the fact is they felt like superstars and couldn’t believe we bought all of that stuff for THEM. As a savvy shopper I know that you get what you pay for, these items that we have bought will be destroyed in a month or two. I’ll now have the opportunity to slowly replace their items with better quality things.
The girls are pretty well adjusted. They understand that good behavior means we can go into the community and have ice cream or visit a park. The girls understand consequences of their actions and they’re both eager to please. Lovely, Loud’s older sister, has the victim mentality. She has repeatedly told me she was being bullied at school and I went to the school today to find out that she is NOT being bullied. She says she is bullied anytime someone isn’t nice to her. I could write an entire post about bullying and victimization. I’m so over the hyper sensitive people who, clearly, have no idea what actual bullying is. I’m not talking about placements or children in general; adults can be just as ignorant. Tata is well rounded and funny, she does her homework and takes her chore seriously. She enjoys quality time with me but needs to work on her reading. I have a feeling that her reading skills will improve as we have scheduled reading every night prior to bed.
Loud, well…he is developmentally behind a bit. While he is 7 years old (8 next month) he is currently behaving around the age of a standard 5 year old. It’s not uncommon for placements to be developmentally behind. Loud is EXHAUSTING. Loud has a difficulties flowing simple commands, he whines, he has virtually no self control and has the victim mentality (don’t get me started on this again.) He cannot go into the community for outings as he is unsafe and often wanders off. Guys, that’s some scary shit. Loud will need some intensive therapy and definately some STAR services. STAR is a respite program that teaches youth how to behave in social settings and community settings.
But, despite all of my fussing I need you to know that Loud told me he loved me today…twice. And all 3 placements decided to call me ‘mom.’ Those 2 things are better than drugs, sex, and fancy handbags. Love is my drug. I’m exhausted, frazzled, and supervising nonstop 24/7, but it is SO worth it. These kids want love, affection, and time.
I have to sacrifice a lot, I understand in the long haul that it’s for the best. I’m wiped out, I’m tired, I’m stretched thin emotionally and financially, and I’m annoyed as all get out. I’m human. I’m allowed to feel this way. I will make it work. I lost 3 checks that I had planned on cashing 2 weeks ago. I keep forgetting my food when I go to work. I forgot laundry in the washer and now it smells funny so I’ve got to dry it then rewash it. I’m out of Diet Dr Pepper. I need to go grocery shopping (I’m dying for fresh produce) but I’m not dragging my nerd herd out to the store. My garbage disposal took a crap and a repair person won’t be here until Monday. My CPR certification expired. Where the hell are my keys? Ugh, the adjustment period is the hardest. Pray for me.
Unrelated to my fussy post: I’m going to post about a budget friendly meal plan for a family of 10.