Love, forgiveness, and anxiety.

Forgiving people is hard. I’m the type that pushes negative feelings aside and moves forward. The problem with that is every once and a while, after holding onto these unpleasant memories, it HAPPENS. The feelings box gets full and overflows; I can no longer shove the feelings aside and I’m emotionally distraught. I’m forced to deal with the unpleasantries all at once. Why do I continue to do this? I know what will happen. Why can’t I just deal with the crappy stuff as it rolls in? I’m not smart. Now, after that box of emotion overflows and I’ve got a heap of emotional baggage to deal with and the anxiety creeps in.

Great. Anxious AND emotional. That’s a recipe for disaster.

Why am I bringing this up? Luckily, I’m not experiencing that shitshow of despair at the moment. Nope. I figured maybe we should talk about wonky mental health. Why do people feel ashamed of their inner workings? We are all screwed up in one way or another. I’m not saying that my mental health is awful nor perfect, I’m merely saying let’s be vulnerable. I’m willing to bet you that at least one of your friends have seen or are still seeing a counselor or therapist. It’s not weird, it’s proactive.

I’ve been working on forgiveness lately. Honestly, it’s been a hard and a long process. I’m typically a forgiving person as I understand that humans are morons and we are doing the best we can. Most humans mean well, we don’t intentionally want to hurt people but when we are emotionally charged we do and say dumb things. I love humans, all of them. Yes, even the morons I cannot see eye to eye with.

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