Case plan changes

Blue’s case plan was changed a few weeks back to Severance and Adoption, it is no longer a reunification case plan. I don’t know what I expected to happen after the case plan change…but I was waiting. Blue recently had another court date, which I missed due to a miscommunication with her DCYS worker. Apparently during the court hearing they arranged a pre trial. Wait. Reverse. Trial for what? I still wasn’t clear on the whole thing; I reached out to my DCYS worker–she was unavailable until later this week, luckily I was able to speak to her supervisor. Apparently a TPR is happening.

A TPR (termination of parental rights) is one of the last legs of being ‘legally free.” Once a child is legally free they can be adopted. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, first we have a pre trial. My understanding is that during the pre trial the teams get all their information squared away and prepare for the trial THEN you go to trial on a separate court date. I now have 2 court dates set and maybe by Christmas the trial and appeal will be completed. Yes, bio parents will have the right to appeal whatever is decided during the trial and I’m sure they will as they’ve made the case very difficult by taking every opportunity to drag the case out. In addition; they’ve not been complying with a majority of their requirements to reunify their family.

During the trial the judge typically powers through a number of things, first it’s pretty much facts about the case. What’s been done vs. what’s not been done in regards to the bio parents. Then lawyers will chatter on about what’s in the best interest of the child or children. Sometimes the judge will deem adoptive families during the trial, if you are deemed an adoptive home then the child or children will not, cannot, be removed from your home as your intent to adopt has been discussed during the trial. This can also happen at a later date.

Do I know if the TPR will be successful? Nope. I’ve learned to never get my hopes up for anything or anyone in regards to foster care. I know what Blue wants, I’ve encouraged her to speak to her attorney about it and he can help her get everything she desires. I want her to be happy even if it hurts me. I will support any choice she makes, to stay here with us, to move to another adoptive home, to live with relatives, or even to go home. I love her, I’ll fight for her.

Shift

Things are constantly changing. Freedom is having a hard time adjusting, she is stressed out quite a bit. Freedom will be leaving our home soon, it’s for the best. She’s not disruptive or mean; she’s a sweet girl with a fun attitude. However she needs a higher level of care, I cannot give her the time or level of care she needs. We have a large household and and I’ve only got so many hours in the day…when I’m using all of my time and resources on a single person it’s a problem. It’s not fair to my other children or husband. It’s not fair to Freedom. It makes me sad to know she’s leaving due to the circumstances but with this shift there will be serenity; she will get the help she needs and my household will go back into it’s normal orbit.

Pretty is having a tough time adjusting to her new schedule. Work, school, life… apparently it’s hard. She fails to have meaningful relationships with her peers and she’s been really disrespectful to me lately. She’s pushing, trying to get me to give her a reaction. I’m still going to love her no matter what…keep pushing kid, I’m not giving up on you.

Blue is hanging in there, her case is getting sloppy. She stood up for herself to her bio parents about what she wants and needs, I believe she feels proud of herself. Sometimes she has emotional days, as she should, and sometimes she has fantastic days.

Flower is screwing off at school. I’m disappointed. She had a presentation due today that she failed to finish, I’m hoping she’s completing it now. She is repaying debt and trying her best to move forward.

Biscuit is moody and happy. She’s still hot and cold. She’s struggling to be organized and balance extracurricular activities and school.

Boychild is well, he’s back on the responsibility train. His chores are done, his school work is solid, he’s doing great.

Bunny is well too. She’s an exceptional student and a super emotional kid. She knows she gets attention from people if she fusses, unfortunately between home and they gym…we’re onto her. It’s people like distant relatives, school personal, etc that she capitalizes on. Suckers!

Lemon is also well! Kindergarten is fun for her, she enjoys gymnastics, and she loves being with her BFF.

Everything isn’t always rainbows and butterflies around here, there are trials and tribulation. One thing that always remains is love, we’ve always got that.

Vacation!

Party of 10 for Knott’s Berry Farm! Husband and I are taking the kids on vacation, yay! The older girls and Husband will be going to Knott’s Scary Farm too… I’m not into that creepy stuff! The girls are excited to be going on Friday the 13th, apparently it’s ultra spooky. After the wild theme park shenanigans we will spend a few days at the beach and then come home. Which beach we will go to is still up in the air; the girls want Laguna Beach and I’m keen on Huntington Beach. I’m currently looking for a beach house as it seems fiscally responsible, getting two hotel rooms at a ocean front resort or even near the ocean is more expensive per night than renting a beach house per night. Big family problems. 😕

The kids all recieved their progress reports, the majority if the kids are doing well. Freedom is failing two classes, Flower has a D, and Boychild has a C. Everything else is all A’s, baby! Freedom needed an IEP when she arrived at our house but the local high school refused until after the first grading period ‘just to make sure.’ Give me a break, we knew she would struggle as she was home schooled for most of her school career. It’s frustrating but I’ll help her get on track and get her grades up. Flower is just being lazy, the D is unacceptable. Flower is a VERY smart girl, by the time actual report cards come out I am certain she will have brought up that D.

Blue is having a tough time with her bio parents. It breaks my heart, I’ll fight for what’s in her best interest forever if I have to.

Pretty turned 18, she’s an adult! She’s taking college courses, working, and being her typical bubbly self. Pretty is very independent and I know she is going to rock this adult thing.

Boychild is excited that it’s cooling down, he went on a pretty long ride the other day with us and only crashed a few times. He needs to build up strength and stamina as during the summer months he was lazy. He has also outgrown his dirtbike, he needs something bigger.

Biscuit is Biscuit. She’s emotionally charged, she’s hot one minute and cold the next. Biscuit is mean, it’s part of her personality. She is Type A, she loves power and takes control of every aspect of her life. She’s my Bossy Mcbosserson and I love her.

Bunny is going through an odd stage, she’s recognizing that hanging out with friends are jerks often rub off on your personality. I’ve noticed her choice of friends have fluctuated lately, I like it. Obviously her BFF is still her soul sister and we all adore her.

Lemon, she’s independent. She loves kindergarten, she loves sports, she loves playing outside with chalk. She misses her BFF as they’re no longer in the same class.