How is it that I have 5 young children, who all get the same brand of clothing, and two of them are physically hard on things that they last only a couple of months? I’ve got a couple theories but first let me give you a couple of examples. Example 1: I bought brand name shoes for all the kids, brands that I know/trust and have had exceptional results with personally, Guess-Keds-Uggs, etc. School has been in session nearly a quarter and two of my kids have destroyed their shoes. Example 2: I bought backpacks, canvas backpacks of various brands and had their names put on them. Once child has completely destroyed their name on their backpack. Example 3: I bought an American girl doll for a child at Christmas and it’s since been beheaded and the hair ripped off.
That third one still has me on fire, for real. BUT, I have come to understand that some kids never understand the value of things. Some kids never had anything new, some kids simply just don’t give a shit and think you owe them something. I’m sure that you’ve guessed by now the culprits are foster placement’s.
I don’t understand, all of my kids go to the same places and they typically participate in the same activities. They attend the same school and have the same group of friends. I buy them all the same brands of clothing, the same coats/shoes, and the same school supplies. But I’m pretty sure only one kid in my house goes out of her way to destroy things, it’s Bells. Bells told me that if she screws her stuff up I have to buy her new stuff because she’s a foster kid. Newsflash kid, nope! I don’t know where she’s got the idea that she’s this kid who deserves this or that because she’s a foster child, in fact this hadn’t been the first time she’s used to foster kid guilt on me. In my house you aren’t a victim; you’re part of a family and special treatment isn’t an option. She once told a few of the bio kids in our house that they were no longer allowed to play games with her and her therapist who visits once a week because she is a foster kid and it’s for her only. I started loading up the car weekly to go on ice cream trips and told her ‘I’m sorry, you’ve got therapy and you’ve asked that the kids not join you anymore; we now get ice cream on Tuesdays while you have therapy.’ Oh boy, that made her upset…for several weeks she complained to the therapist about not getting ice cream and the therapist explained that she made a fuss about it and brought it on herself. Later, she mentioned that ‘foster kids should get more that regular kids.’ Ugh, can we not go through this again?! In any case, guess who was unhappy about their Faded Glory jeans? After wearing only Justice jeans…I hope this works.
Shy is a culprit too but I believe a lot of his stuff is innocently destroyed, he climbs trees and rides bikes. Of course his stuff will get rugged while playing hard outdoors; I get it. But he wants to hang onto it and not toss it in the trash where it should have gone. Shy understands brand recognition as he’s older and his friends talk about it. He values the higher end items I’ve bought him and he truly takes care of the ‘important’ stuff. He is much harder on all of his things but it’s a mixture of just being a boy and carelessness. Funny thing, Boychild usually accompanies Shy in most things and Boychild hasn’t had a ton of destroyed things. Kids, what can you do?!
I never have any problems with Minnie, she’s older and understands the value of things. I like to buy her treats, new clothes or bathing suits because she truly values both the thought that went into the purchase and the items in general. She’s such a great kid, I’ll definitely miss her when she moves home with her parents.
Biscuit has requested to join both Renaissance Club and Interact Club. She’s really into getting into the National Junior Honor Society this year, she’s putting in volunteer hours at the gym, she’s joining clubs, and she’s keeping that high GPA.
Boychild is a Webelos Cub Scout! I volunteered to be a scout leader or assistant leader, I think we’re going to have a lot of fun. He was supposed to go camping at the beginning of October but we are working on being responsible and listening (aren’t we always with him?!) and get failed to get the information he needed so he cannot go. Eventually he will be sick of missing out on stuff he wants to do and will start focusing.
Bunny is missing SO many teeth. She’s also going to need quite a bit of dental work as she gets older. Bunny has had a crossbite for as long as I can remember, her adult teeth are growing in a jagged as her baby teeth. Bunny has passed all this school years benchmarks, for example the say her reading should be at a 15 now and a 53 at the end of the year…she is at 64. All across the board, she’s got it!
Lemon is enjoying preschool. She officially knows 28 sight words and is working on writing her names. She recently kicked ass at the gym, she can do a standing bridge kickover. Other than that…she’s three and doing three year old things. Listening is not her strongest attribute.
Let’s recap; cheer, tumbling, gymnastics, AWANA, Homework Club, tutoring, Good News Club, Renaissance Club, Interact Club, youth group, and Cub Scouts. Ah, to be the mother of seven kids.
Husband and I have date nights, well adult nights. We meet up with friends at various places and engage in child free conversations. It’s beautiful. Husband and I are going on a little get away soon, viva Chicago! And when we return a family trip is planned; we’re going to the beach and Knotts Berry Farm. After these trips it’s going to be lots of cheer traveling, I’m excited.
One of these pretty ladies is our puppy, Murphy!
I’m going to attempt to add a few videos to share with you!
Fall break is coming and it will just be our bio kids with us…we should do something! But what?! The options are endless and that’ll give me something to day dream about during the weeks coming. Husband and I are going to Chicago at the end of this month solo, how wild. What are we going to do?! I have no idea.
In other news, Minnie’s caseworker from DCYS was supposed to visit us today. The new one…have I named her yet? Well, we’re going to call her Mrs. Late because she made an appointment to see Minnie today knowing that a transportation service would be picking her up 30 minutes after after the scheduled appointment time with her. You guessed it. Transportation came and went before Mrs. Late arrived. Great.
The upside? I learned than you can ask transportation services to wait up to 15 minutes before they leave. That’s all fine and dandy but I’m not taking any time away from Minnie that she could be spending with her bio family. I’m here for my kids, not for some ill timed caseworker. Needless to say, I’m not impressed with Mrs. Late.
I need a vacation.
Big and great news! Crazy happy news! Minnie will transition to her bio family’s home during fall break AND Bells and Shy will start transitioning to their adoptive home this weekend. I’m so happy for my foster babies. This pretty much means that in the next 4-6 weeks we will have a new group of kids on our home. Exciting. Happy. News.
I’m ready to say goodbye to our placement’s. I’m ready for them to move on to the next chapter of their lives. I feel at peace with them leaving; I know Minnie’s bio family and I know I’ll be in contact with them no doubt. I am friends with Bells and Shy’s adoptive home and I know I’ll see them regularly too. It’s really great, I am so happy. No tears…just the boot and see you later. There won’t be any goodbyes.
This is the good stuff guys. This is what it’s all about. Permanency, love, family.
In other news…Boychild is a Cub Scout. Tonight is his first meeting. I’m pretty psyched for that. Boy, what a great day.
Being a teenager in foster care is difficult, I’m proud of Minnie. She tackles obstacles like a pro and has a thick skin. She tells me stories of her friends at school who bad mouth their parents and it genuinely hurts her, she wants to be home so badly that she would LOVE for her mother to punish her or make her angry…she just wants to be home, no matter what. She tells me stories about how people take their families for granted. She tells me about how much she misses her mom. She tells me fun stories during her 2 years in the system. She also tells me devastatingly sad stories involving family and her life on general. I want her to go to home, more so than I’ve ever wanted a child to go home. That sounds abrasive; ‘I want her to go home.’ It’s not. I mean it in the purest and most loving way, Minnie is a great girl who has been in a crappy situation. One day she will do big things, I just know it. And I hope it’s soon. I’ve never wanted a child to leave our home as much as I want her to, I want her to be with her family who has overcome so many obstacles and jumped through every hoop that they’ve been presented. Her family wants her. Her family has learned important lessons. Her family loves her AND her siblings. Yes, Minnie has siblings. She has 2 teenaged siblings in a group home and a younger sibling in a different foster placement.
Minnie is a great girl, she works very hard at all things she involved in. I’m proud to be her foster mom, her aunt.
School, sports, clubs, church, therapy, doctor/dentist/optometrist’s, CFT’S, licensing workers, case managers, PAT…it’s all in action and we are scheduled. It’s a really tight schedule but it’s worked out. I’m in my car a lot moving these kids around and I don’t mind at all. I’ve got a great group of friends that help with carpooling, with overnights when I need a breather, and very sound support group. This is my home and these are my people. I’m blessed.
I’m thinking that next month Bells and Shy should be moved into their permanent home! I’m really excited for them, they deserve to feel safe and secure. And I’m pretty sure that October is a good month for our teenage foster child, reunification is SO close. She’s started having overnight weekend visits, I’m psyched for her. What does this mean for our home? It means we will soon have new little faces in our family! October is going to be a great month, I can just feel it. All of our foster babies will be transitioned to their homes, this makes me feel incredibly happy. I feel proud of the parents who worked so hard to regain custody of their children; kudos to you bio parents on our teen! I’m also feeling full in my heart knowing that Bells and Shy have a forever home.
Seriously, reunification can be beautiful. Sometimes it can be bitter and unjust, but in this situation…wow. Also, a church in our community is starting up a Foster Care class! If you have any questions, concerns, or comments please reach out to me I’d be happy to help anyone.
My heart is full!