Insert expletive deletive

Here we go. We’re strapping in for a rollercoasters ride, things are changing…again. Naturally, you’d expect things to change when you’re a foster care provider…except when you’re pretty sure things are going to go one way and they go the complete opposite.

Building a house? Definitely on hold. If we go through too many changes, and hope to adopt our foster children, big changes can hold us up and potentially disrupt a placement and/or adoption. That. Sucks. So. Much. But, my heart says to hang tight and make different choices.

News on our current foster care placement has finally come through, unfortunately I didn’t get news from my DCS worker or an attorney, I was called by a transportation company and relayed news of visitation starting in a couple weeks. With that being said it seems pretty obvious what the judges ruling was. I’m really irked that no one called to let us know, the kids have been asking and we’ve all been dying to know what was going on.

Everything is in limbo. We are stuck playing a waiting game. I hope and pray that bio parents get it together and can parent Bells and Shy in a healthy way, I always want what’s best for my foster babies and I preach reunification relentlessly. If it were my choice I know my own selfishness would get the best of me. I love these kids, I’m proud of these kids, these are some exceptional kids and my heart aches with them. I want so badly for them to have normal lives and deep down I want to snatch them up and keep them forever. Obviously that’s the wrong way to look at things, you can’t take what’s not yours. I’m emotionally invested and as much as I would love to keep them forever but I could NEVER steal an opportunity from a bio parent who is actively trying to better themselves.

So. Many. Mixed. Emotions.

In other news; Biscuits cheer team received a bid to the Summit. That’s a big deal, it’s like the superbowl for cheerleaders. I’m proud of her and her team…now we fundraise relentlessly to afford the trip. I just had a sea of birthdays in our house and we are gearing up for parties. After many fights regarding Bunny’s hair we finally cut it short, there have been less fights since. Boychild hit a growth spurt and he is looking a lot less boyish. Bells is happy in gymnastics. Shy expressed an interest in playing football. Lemon is working on her tumbling in hopes of making it on a cheer team next year.

Husband makes my heart feel happy, he’s working different angles to help with moving, buying a house, and building a house. That man would move mountains for us; he loves our family. I’m lucky to have him, crazy lucky. He understands my passion for children, our community, and he pushes me to do more, do better, and do what pleases me.

Until next time…we wait.

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