Things that are hard #1

It’s hard to talk to your foster care kids about what’s going on in their case or what could happen. It’s a lifetime full of carefully orchestrated blows to the gut.

“You’re not allowed to see your bio parents…”

“Your family members missed their visit again…”

“Court is next week, they’re terminating your parents rights…”

“Your attorney said…”

“The DCS worker wanted me to let you know…”

“Your therapist recommended…”

“They’re seeking out other family members who may want guardianship.”

“I can’t post these pictures of you on Facebook or Instagram because it’s a violation of your rights.”

“We have to push through paperwork to take you out of state and there isn’t enough time…”

“I don’t know how long you will be here.”

“No, you cannot have your picture printed in the newspaper even though you did a great deed in the community.”

These are my words, my pain, my shame. It’s absolutely awful to explain to a child any of these things. Children should never have these consequences because a parent(s) their epic failure. It breaks my heart everytime I have to let my foster babies down, when I don’t know the answers. Because, in real life, I don’t have the answers. Apparently a judge does.

My foster kids have a team of people trying to figure out what is best for them. Sometimes it’s a pain in the ass but I know they’re all focused on the best interest of the kids. It seems like so much for kids to navigate through, it’s painful for me that they know that foster kids have all of these services and they know how to navigate the system. It’s very odd to hear childten talk about services offered by the state for foster children. They often educate me!

This Friday is a big day for us,  I’m not sure what’s in store but I know big things are happening in Bells’ and Shy’s lives.  I’ll be taking all of the kids out of school for this event; I’m hoping things that are uncertain will become clear after it is all said and done.

Every painful memory, every painful conversation, every bad day is nothing compared to the loss and suffering these kids experience. I often feel guilty venting about my feelings…but, it’s raw and real. This is foster care. I can easily sort through my emotions and be objective; children can’t afford those types of luxuries.

For every bad thing there are 50 good things, it’s not all bad. It feels nice to be loved and trusted by children who have been mistreated or abandoned. To be hugged, to share joyful accomplishments, and watch them grown. I love what I do, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I it is absolutely amazing to see positive changes in little humans lives and to know I’m shaping our societies future in a positive way.

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